Faith Amid Controversies

I was asked to voice out my opinion on one controversial issue today. I guess it has been debated many times over by believers and atheists alike (I'd rather not say here what it was. Sorry guys). At first, I never really gave the issue much thought because I believed it was trivial and not quite openly discussed. Tonight, however, as I reflected on what happened during the day, I realized that it was not so trivial as I thought after all. By the way, we were made to pick-out the question that we were going to be asked from a box full of questions :).

Anyway, what I did realize was - I know more than enough about my religion and could really preach about it like I did as a young catechist several years ago, yet, somehow I'm not really practicing its teachings as I should. I used to ace my religion subject exams and got the best in religion award for four straight years in high school, woke up extra early to attend 6:00 a.m. masses during my HS and college years. But suddenly when I started working, my religious routine seemed to just completely changed. I still pray - all the time - and still attend mass on Sundays - but missed many Sunday masses already. What was much a joy before has now become almost a struggle. I don't know and can't say what went wrong. The spark that used to make me feel so alive is almost out.

What keeps it burning is this faith in Him that is deep inside me. He is with me. I'm lost and I need to find Him again. I know in my heart that I can never completely fall away from Him. I can feel him calling me back, to feel the warmth of His embrace once more. Perhaps then I'd find happiness and contentment even in the little things I see and do.

I learned today to keep my faith amid controversies, trials, and disappointments (I seem to have a lot of them lately). I just want to find peace, serenity, and be able to trust wholeheartedly again. I hope to have a life well-lived.